Sometimes life is a whirlwind. The ups and downs can take us by surprise until we feel dizzy, sometimes sick. The utter and complete joy of reaching a goal that you fought hard for, maybe on some rugged mountain trail or in a class where you felt out of your league or maybe just rising each morning and taking that next breath, can drive you on to even greater trails to conquer because you beheld a beauty at the end of the last one that held you in a promise of so much blessing.
And in some very short time span, your body can feel a raw grief that issues from the center of all that you are and will not be held back. It comes in a primal wail and in waves that overtake you and though you fight to hide it, it envelops all of those around you too. This grief settles on you and you will never be the same again. It is in a mother and father’s loss of their dear child, no matter how old or young they were. It is in love’s betrayal, when you were sure of a love deep and trusting but find now that you wander lost and alone with no one you can talk to. It takes you to your knees.
And in the one of joy you send your praises to God for touching your heart and soul and walking beside you on that difficult path until you reached the goal. And in that terrible grief, you ask “God, where are you?” And God says, “I am here with you cradled in my arms.” But it may take some time to hear that soft whisper and to feel those loving arms enfolding you. Be patient with yourself and dig down to those moments of joy until the grief begins to slowly ease and you can take that tiny baby step forward.