What disturbs me? Disturb: “To interfere with, to alter the position of, to upset the balance of, to destroy the tranquility of, to throw into disorder, to alarm” (Websters)

After reading that definition, many things disturb me:

The television turned up too loud, things that are left out-of-place, times that I’m caught off-guard. I don’t think I’m easily frazzled, but I know myself to be an orderly person. I’m disturbed when I feel unorganized or when I don’t get as much done as I planned.

I go to bed at night with an internal checklist that goes something like this: coffee set up for morning-check, running things out-check, dishes done & kitchen cleaned up-check, laundry dried, folded and put away-check, grading done and emails responded to-check, cattle and horse chores done-check, clothes for school out-check, heat turned down-check, wrist watch on-check, doors locked-check, things I need in the morning ready-check, meat I need for the next night’s supper thawing in fridge-check, and any of the day’s projects finished or put on tomorrow’s list-check.

If I can’t check them off, I feel disturbed until I do. I know I’ve written before about my love affair with sticky notes. Where would I be if I couldn’t write all of these things down and check them off? Sleepless. Even after I pray myself to sleep, anything I’ve forgotten niggles at the back of my brain until I get out of bed and make sure it is ready or put away or written down to remember in the morning. Only then can I sleep, undisturbed.