The secrets of the day are held in the rising of the sun, and the rising this day was full of the promise of secrets revealed. Structures on the farm, hidden by the moonless night, are slowly made tangible again with the revelation of dawn.

I’m not good at secrets. I can keep them but it is a burden. Even when I put a lot of time and energy into secret surprises for those I love and anticipate their joy when the secret is unveiled, I want to tell someone. Sometimes I do tell a trusted friend or sibling because it’s too much to keep to myself. Other sorts of secrets, I find I have to be able to talk to someone I trust to work through the information. I keep the integrity of the secret, careful not to violate a confidence.

Generally, I think there are two kinds of secrets:

fun gift or happy surprise type secrets and serious secrets which can involve negative actions or feelings–I don’t like this kind of secret! What do you do with this kind of secret when you know it is hurtful to another whether they know it or not? It wears on the bearer like a piece of oat hay stuck on the inside of your glove. Ugh.

January 14, 2015

And yes, the Christmas lights are still up on our house, because they remind me of who is really in charge. I just wish, sometimes, that God would drop in for a minute and give me some idea of what to do.