A shoe by any other name is still a shoe: boot, sandal, pump, flats, dress, sneaker, clog, loafer, slipper, flip-flop, moccasin, wing-tip or high top.

Useful things about shoes:

They protect your feet from hot sand, can light up a dark place if they’re neon or have those sensory lights in the souls, and they’re good for throwing at sisters to “get that spider off” that I saw crawling up your arm.

Shoes are good for slipping on to dash to the backyard to retrieve the arrow you shot at the target from up on the deck, so you can shoot it again.

You can fill shoes with various items including: water, sand, chocolate in wrappers, leaves, feet, hands…they can be a hidey hole cave for cats and if they’re really smelly, they can be useful for keeping people at a distance.

They are the chew toy of choice for dogs, and best of all, you can put them on list of things that come in pairs.