Admit it 27 October 2015

Worthy of Love

I admit it. I love a good Disney movie and all so-called sappy movies. I love the Hallmark channel and Lifetime movies. I get caught up in the people and their stories and even stay up past my normal bedtime to finish watching one.

I also admit that I sometimes turn the TV on just for the company of noise in the background and then, I pay no attention at all to what is going on. It’s just there as I work on grading or posting or ironing or baking or…

I admit it. I love dessert. lemonI think you should choose your dessert first and then plan the rest of the meal around that. I believe in dessert after most meals. I do not feel this way about deserts, though they do have their own kind of beauty.

Scan 131820014

Baby Cathy

 

I admit it. I love babies. I love to cuddle them when they’re tiny and play with them as they grow. When they smile, the whole world lights up.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Lost 26 October 2015

sallys camra 427

Any teacher has heard a plethora of excuses as to why work is not turned in. They do get old. I wrote this response to one of my student writers after we’d spent weeks in class working on this awesome hero writing project, complete with art work too!

But I lost it, Ms. G.

You lost it? I say,

this work we’ve been doing for the last several days?

We’ve journeyed through heroes, Odysseus not the least-

studying mono-myth in Star Wars, Hobbits and Kings.

Finally landing in a place of our own-imagination being the only limit,

pouring out our own journey, heroic and strong,

one line-at-a-time…and you LOST it?

Ah, my friend, then your journey must

begin again. Good luck, God speed.

The due date is tomorrow.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Hero Status 22 October 2015

IMG_2806

Who do I know, personally, that could be considered a hero? Hmm, so, what is a hero?

A hero is courageous, even in fear.

A hero goes out of their way to help others with no expectation of self-benefit. A hero has an inner strength that allows for the courage to step up, even into danger. A hero stands up for those who cannot stand on their own. A hero knows that their abilities come from God; they are humble. A hero has great integrity, empathy, is honest and has perseverance, as well as patience, caring and the ability to sacrifice for others. A hero is down-to-Earth, but reaches for the stars.

Some heroes I know: my best friend and retired Air Force pilot Mary, my sisters Julie, Jana and Susan and my brothers, Mike and George Jr., Karen Packard, an old student of mine, Jack, and many others too-but this day, I think of these heroes and am inspired to go on, even in the midst of the strife. Yowsah!

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Peace 21 October 2015

IMG_0257

There are several moments I can think of when I felt completely at peace; everything was right with the world:

When Jared was born and we shared those intimate moments as mother and child-he sleeping sweetly in my arms and when he woke, smiling into his beautiful blue eyes. And Alex, his foot sticking out beneath my ribs in utero or our old cat, Mordecai, Scan 131780048purring and curled up on my protruding belly,

Singing hymns in church and experiencing God in the most human way during communion,

in the early morning at camp, feeding horses, out on a pack trip in the mountains for days, away from everything, around a campfire singing and playing guitar and eating s’mores of course,

hunting elk up on Mt. Evans surrounded by the vastness of twinkling stars, the mountain peaks bathed in moonlight or all but covered in a sea of clouds,

at home in the night when we settle into each other’s arms,

IMG_0412in the morning when I run and pray,

standing by my sister’s grave with my brothers and sisters as we gave her into rest,

grooming my horse, farming with the disc or whatever implement to cross the fields for long hours,

and, when I’m captured in my own writing, unable to stop or come back to Earth.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Snow 20 October 2015

IMG_0196

I love to wake up to snow more than any other kind of morning. All those white flakes covering everything-wet and fresh. It feels so magical. Inside it is cozy in that kind of hushed dark of early morning, making me want the smell of baking cookies and something delicious bubbly away in the crock pot. IMG_7483

It’s the perfect kind of morning for coffee and writing, and when they come, I want them to go on for several days, to be caught in a moment of time. I drift from work to window to coffee pot and a late afternoon movie with popcorn, not concerned about anything.

sallys camra 129 (1)Watching the thick flakes float down outside the window, pulling on boots, hat and mittens to take a walk around the farm-yard, check the stock, and maybe catch a few of those white crystals on my tongue. Coming back in to warm, slippers, and hot cocoa with marshmallows.

Of course, it was still 81 degrees here yesterday, but the forecast is calling for mountain snows-maybe up to six inches in Estes Park-those lucky dogs!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Religion 19 October 2015

IMG_1584

Religion doesn’t mean much to me. It is hypocrisy and excuse for judgement and violence. Faith, on the other hand, means everything to me. My relationship with God, my belief, my very existence-called into being from the dust of stars by God who knows me and loves me.

This ties into the reason I am on this Earth, to worship God and glorify God forever. As the IMG_4103song says, “When we sing to God in heaven, we will find such harmony. Born of all we’ve known together…” And these words bring solace to my soul when I’m hurting:

I will hold the Christ light for you, in the night-time of your fears. I will hold my hand out to you, speak the words you long to hear.

What words do I long to hear? I long to hear someday, but not too soon, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I long to hear words from my children that tell me they are happy IMG_3997and safe and living full lives and lives with passion. I long to hear words of love, daily, and wrap my heart in them when I do. I long to hear other things too: “Your novel is a best seller and we’re going make a movie.” Or, “Ms.G, please let us write more!” “Ms.G, I can’t wait to give you my essay.” “Ms.G, I love poetry and English and all things Englishy!”

What? It could happen.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | 2 Comments

elk 16 October 2015

IMG_4019

Having a good pair of binoculars is essential on an elk hunt. Many people use a spotting scope and have a tripod, but we travel light. I can’t give you the time, but we spend a good deal of time glassing with those Sworovskis. I like to go high in the pre-dawn and let the sun catch up with us. We’ve seen elk come over the top of the ridge, about 600 feet above us and then meander down their trail to pass fairly close to us.

As the sun rises, the rocks and willows take on a rosy glow IMG_4006and those eight bucks seem to have “glow” butts! We stay up top and wait in silence and glass the willows and the valley below and hope. And hope. And hope. When it is getting on toward noon, we climb back down to our camp and heat some water for coffee or tea (not me!) and hydrate a bit, shed some of the warm clothes we don’t need between us and the elements anymore and decide what the plan for the rest of the hunting IMG_4023day will be.

It is difficult to stay in stealth mode when you have to take game trails through dry willows, but we do our best. We head down into the valley and split up. I like to skirt across the top of the valley and then head back around to the top again. We  move from spot to spot through the afternoon, IMG_4043watching and waiting. Meeting back at camp in the late afternoon, we heat more water and enjoy a Mountain House meal with some fruit cups and chocolate-and more coffee. Improvising this trip, because I forgot to pack spoons, we used the empty fruit cups to pour the beef stroganoff into, and used our hunting knives to eat. It worked and we didn’t starve.

IMG_4099For the end of the day hunting, until sunset, we stick closer to camp and hunker down and wait. So, we hike and glass and wait and hope; sometimes it pays off and sometimes it doesn’t. But, to be in such an amazing place, that our Creator God imagined and then put together, is always a blessing. I cannot fathom the imagination of God, but I can enjoy the fruits of it if I just look around.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Hunting 15 October 2015

IMG_3973

I doubt that many people really understand what it is to go on a hunting trip. We like to watch hunting shows on TV sometimes, but it is amusing when they talk about how rough the country is and how rugged the hunt is, and then proceed to drive their four-wheelers around to haul their game out. They head back to the hunting lodge where a five-course meal has been prepared for them and sit by the fire to retell the story of the day’s hunt. Hmm, I think I’ve been missing out a bit…but not really.

We generally draw elk tags every other year where we hunt. So, Friday morning, the horsesIMG_3999 were in and fed by 3:45AM and after one last cup of coffee, we load the horses and head off through Denver and up to the mountains. Saddling up and loading the saddle bags and pack panniers, we ride up the trail. It was a beautiful, sunny day and the ride along the creek with the bright yellow aspen and the deep green of the pines was amazing.

IMG_4012Setting up our tent at 11,700 feet or so, we had our camp organized quickly and bid goodbye to our pack train as they headed back down the trail to take the horses home. While hunting season doesn’t open until Saturday morning, we hiked around to all the spots where we can glass for any elk that might be out and about. We spotted a nice six-point bull, a couple of moose, and then in the early evening, eight or nine cows and calves with another nice bull passed right by our tent. I was so excited!

The high mountains are gorgeous in fall and normally very cold. Not so this time as it was IMG_4010unseasonably warm and while I didn’t mind not spending five days shivering, I wasn’t sure what this would mean for our hunt. Our hunt “schedule” means: up and have a granola bar, gear up and hit the trail to 12,070 feet by 5:30AM, glass for elk, find elk, shoot elk, prepare meat to pack out…of course, you only get this far if you have spotted the elk first. We spotted eight very nice buck deer and two moose, Mr. & Mrs., and one cow elk-we had bull tags.

More to follow tomorrow.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Elk 8 October 2015

2005_1008Image0001

One of my favorite months is October because I love the crunch and smell of fall. I love the hope of big snow storms and of a successful elk hunt. I love the anticipation of the winter to come and the passing of the hot summer.

I like the ease of shorter days and the feel of the grain cart behind the tractor in the corn field.79660025 In October, I like to anticipate a freezer full of elk, deer, and antelope, the pantry stocked with jars of chokecherry and rhubarb jelly and rhubarb, cherries and zucchini frozen for pies, cakes and bread.

Of course, some Halloween candy never hurts either, but high school students aren’t so corn and alex journal 006generous as sixth graders! Saturday is opening day of first rifle season for elk, and we are heading up the mountain tomorrow, so I won’t be back with you friends, family and readers until mid-week, next week. I’ll breathe in that sweet cold mountain air, take in the myriad of stars, and be astounded by the colors and smells of fall for you.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Rememberings 7 October 2015

This is the image of the first merging of families after our mother died.

This is the image of the first merging of families after our mother died.

I remember when my son, Alex, was little and began to lose his baby teeth, he believed firmly in the tooth fairy. But, his impression was that the tooth fairy collected all the teeth and built tractors out of them. I loved that about him.

I remember running that half-marathon and eating peanut M & Ms afterward from huge bowls put out by the race officials for the runners. I remember swimming on Smokey

Alex with his ready smile.

Alex with his ready smile.

in that high mountain lake. I remember movie dates with Alex and we’d get pizza and have popcorn and soda at home. I remember making “millennium” brownies to celebrate New Year’s 2000 while Jared was attending the Presbyterian Youth Event. I remember Jared’s Creepy Crawler business!

I remember Godfather’s Pizza on Friday nights with Mary McWhorter and listening to Beatles’ albums at her house. I remember the candy aisle at Rexall Drug Store and Bazooka Bubblegum. I remember playing in the forest behind our house on 105th and wandering around the crick. I remember Girl Scout meetings in the tin building and Camp Washati with campfires, hobo dinners, and making sit-ups.

Jared on his first sandhill cranes-watching trip.

Jared on his first sandhill cranes-watching trip.

I remember getting lost in Little House on the Prairie, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, and Pippi Longstockings. I remember trips in the suburban to Ponca State Park with all of us sacked out in the back and “sharing” boxes of Chicken-in-a-Biscuit and Socialbles- but I don’t think anyone liked the Socialbles. I remember Girl Scout cookie time: thin mints, peanut butter and the chocolate & vanilla sandwich cookies-they don’t have these anymore.

I remember Goodrich Dairy chocolate malts and banana splits, and I remember that we

The home stretch of a half-marathon...M&Ms, here I come.

The home stretch of a half-marathon…M&Ms, here I come.

didn’t have much, really, but we had joy with what we did have. We fought like cats and dogs, but we also stood for each other with a fierce love. It’s true that I remember many horrible things and maybe even wish I could forget them, but all of who I am is a testament to the underlying love and strength of family in all its forms.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment