One Year 3 April 2017

A year ago, yesterday, a couple in love pledged their troth to each other and entered their life together in holy matrimony. Yesterday, we celebrated that beautiful sunny spring day that became a part of our story.

We promised to love, honor, respect, cherish, and give each other our most tender care. We promised to encourage and inspire each other for the rest of our lives. We promised that our hearts would be each other’s shelters and that our arms would be each other’s homes. Yesterday we wept as we woke early and watched ourselves do exactly that with our Scottish Padre to guide us and bring us the blessing of God. 

This weekend we traveled north with good friends for pizza and ice-cream, and we fellowshipped and enjoyed ourselves and broke bread with a couple who’ve been in love for many years. And many of you sent your happy wishes for our first anniversary and we thank you. To be on this journey through life and living with one who shares your heart is an amazing blessing and gift from God.

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Three years ago 24 March 2016

Four years and still waiting for justice. It still hurts and we love and miss you Cathy.

Sally Gerard's avatarSally Gerard

Cathy is the little girl in the front, right in the middle. Susan is keeping her in check! Cathy is the little girl in the front, right in the middle. Susan is keeping her in check!

Dear Cathy,

Words do not come easily for a letter like this. Would that you were here because if you were, then that would mean that you came back from California. I sit here at the table by the window looking out on the trees struggling because of the drought, and yet like you did so many times, they continue to fight to live and to be all that they were meant to be. Like you, they nurture the many little birds that look for shade in the heat of the day; they grow the fruits and devote so much energy to those tiny bits of what will become food for others. I wish I could call you. Sometimes I still hit call on my cell phone after I bring up your…

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Jack 22 March 2017

We hung over the fence watching his long stride as he ambled toward the barn, the bottom of his Levi’s and the pointed toes of his boots covered in dust from the cloud his feet created as he walked. Jack’s long whistle had issued, calling the horses in from the pasture just at sun-up. His lanky form held his straw cowboy hat up, the dark sweat stain forming the hat’s band. Short grayish hair could just be seen above his ears.

Careful to stay outside the faded wood fence while the hooves pounded the dirt, announcing the arrival of Jack’s dude string, Cathy called out, “Do you sleep in those boots?” My little sister, Cathy, was intent on Jack’s weathered boots.

“Well now, I have to let my toes out every so often and bedtime’s a good a time as any.” His gravelly voice sounds like a smile. Twenty-eight horses thundered down the hill, slowing to file past Jack on their way in for oats. His hand passes over each warm neck and he greets them. “Amigo. Pard. Oh, Bandit, now will you leave Hank alone?” Then, over his shoulder, “Alright you Prescott kids, come on in and help me halter. And mind you don’t get your feet underneath of theirs, I don’t want them horses limping around all day.”

He takes Cathy by the hand. “Come on Cathy, you can help me.” Jack leads her into Old

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Pie’s stall and guides her hands over the halter buckle, his arms an extension of hers that can’t yet reach around Old Pie’s head. “See there, you’re almost big enough to do that all by yourself. You gonna help me with the oats?”

She’s tentative, but Jack goes on like she’s the best hand in the stable. Together they fill cans with oats and head down the aisle dumping feed into each box while muzzles plunge in devouring the grain like famine victims.

Later in the morning, we’re back on the fence of the big corral where the horses are saddled, bridled and tied by the feed bunks waiting for the first wave of hourly riders. Jack has the folks in a circle around him, his wrangler Tom ready to help people mount for the trail ride through the woods overlooking the Missouri River. As Jack sizes up each rider, he gives them the name of their horse and everyone is mounted, lined up, and ready to follow the horse in front of them out the gate and down the trail.

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“Ma’am, now you just relax and let Pard do the work. You got nothin’ to worry over as he’s taken greener riders than you all over this park. He’ll take care of you and bring you right back here safe and sound. Sit up now and smile.” Jack rode along the line correcting and encouraging. We knew if there were a spare horse, he’d let as many of us ride as he could. This time, he went back, scooped Cathy off the fence and into the saddle in front of him, carrying on conversations as they rode down the dirt track.

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Hail 21 March 2017

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Roof repair has been ongoing since a hail storm passed through last summer right at the end of wheat harvest. Our house was the first to get a new cover and we are waiting now for work to begin on the barn. I will never forget that night when the storm came through:

Sound asleep and dreaming, the loud crash on the roof woke me so suddenly that I was standing before I was really coherent. Crash! Bang! I dashed to the north window in the living room to peer out. Crash! I backed away just as fast, thinking about the story we’d just heard from our friend Larry, who told us about the huge hail stones that came right through their windows.

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It was 12:30 a.m. and hailing. Rain was sheeting down, thunder was booming and lightning flashing. It looked like a powerful strobe, and each time the yard turned on, more hail stones bounced in the grass.

Then silence, as if the disco joint had closed and the owner flipped the power switch off. I could hear the gentle patter of tiny raindrops on the roof and wondered if anything would be left of my garden and the trees. I thought about the heifers and the horses and imagined them hopping around trying to avoid the stones.

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The storm had moved off, taking the last lingering drops of rain along with it, and the night calmed and settled, lulling me back to bed and to sleep. In the orange-pink glow of dawn, I picked up three or four hail stones, still about two-and-a-half inches in diameter and put them on a plate in the freezer. No fish stories here.

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Nugget Three 16 March 2017

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When I walked into the backyard, the ladder was just there, leaning against the elm tree. Made of wood and kind of lopsided, I thought it had seen better days. Not knowing where it came from or who left it leaning on the tree, I went to grab it and put it away in the shed.

The sound of birds chirping made me stop and look up into the branches. Seeing the nest, I climbed the ladder. Suddenly it began to shake. Holding on as tight as I could, I felt it lifting high into the tree. Looking down, I could see the birds in that nest, but they didn’t seem in least to be bothered by me.

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When the ladder touched earth again, I was sure it must have been a tornado, even though the day had been clear and sunny. Climbing down, hand over hand, I got off shaking and kneeled to the ground.

Looking up, the shed was gone and I was staring out at a wide open plain, green as springtime and filled with grazing bison.

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Another Nugget 15 March 2017

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Lost in my confusing thoughts, I wandered along the ocean shore. A tiny flash of light caught my eye as the sun reflected off some glass. A little bottle was lodged in the sand and I stooped over to pick it up.

Rubbing the sand off, the glass was dark blue and I unscrewed the lid. Inside was a tiny rolled up note. It read, “for a time IN 2230.” Okay. I had no idea what to make of it. Turning the bottle over into my hand, a small key fell out-like one of those tiny diary keys.

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I had no idea how to figure out what any of this meant. I rolled the message up and tucked it with the key back into the bottle. Throwing as hard as I could, I pitched it back into the ocean and walked on. It wasn’t meant for me and it’d wash back up for some other person to find.

Little did I know, I would see it again.

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Story Nuggets 14 March 2017

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Here’s to a series of story nuggets…very rough.

There were things I couldn’t live without, but it was too late to go back. Days ago, it seemed like we had all the time in the world. Now we were on the run.

No one was tracking us, yet, but going back would be too risky. Most of all, I wanted my guitar but it was too cumbersome to carry. I had some of my music sheets, for

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all the good they’d do me. I had pieced together some photos, but left behind the albums they’d been glued into. “What was that,” wrenching me back to the present, the boy grabbed my arm.

“What?” Stopping, I tried to calm my labored breathing so I could hear. “I don’t…” my head snapped around when I heard the twig snap. Pulling the boy down with me, we crouched and I put my finger to my lips and stared into his eyes. He nodded and we waited, barely breathing.

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Graph Poetry 13 March 2017

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Some are thinking. One twirls her hair, staring at the graph paper on her desk. He has his head down, forehead to paper, arms down and hands in his lap. That one yawns, stretching his heck with a grimace on his open mouth.

This one’s grey Vans are untied and he  is sketching two lines on the graph paper, making them ultra dark, X and Y, as if the poem cares. The skinny boy, short brown hair sticking up at his crown, finished his graph poem in about two minutes, letting the orange Pilot pen clatter to the desk in case I hadn’t noticed he was finished.

My welder is done, his words on this graph evenly split between positive and negative until the end where they slope upwards and arrow toward the positive quadrant. The cattle baroness is writing and re-writing the word intervals on the Y-axis. Most of the poems are written in straight diagonal lines, but hers, the only sophomore, are curved and rolling all over the graph.

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Substitute 8 March 2017

Some people don’t cope well with bad situations. They get caught in anger or depression and can’t find their way out. They react with their typical M.O. and then can’t stop even when they know they’ve gone way past ridiculous. They can’t see anyway to find peace or grace or to reach out for help.

I took a group students to Denver this week for the Colorado State Poetry Out Loud competition. We all had  such a great time listening to

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great poetry being recited, as well as, our Colorado Poet Laureate, Joseph Hutchinson, emcee the evening. I have been amazed by his ability to know the tiniest little details of almost every poet read! This was a great experience for my rural students, and who doesn’t

like Cold Stone Creamery?!

Upon my return, I had a two page missive from my substitute. My favorite struggling Zombie writer refused to do the work stating to the sub, “I do not write in complete sentences because I don’t want to.” At least he was civil.

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Those who do cope find ways to heal. They pray in faith. They seek help and ways to understand or survive or move on. They take long walks outside in the woods or along meadows or pastures. They meet friends to talk or have coffee. They talk to their pastor or go to church or read their Bible. They write. They seek out others who suffer, helping themselves in the process of helping others.

Zombie student came in at lunch the next day and asked me for a pencil, sat down, and began to write–in complete sentences.

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A Better Person 7 March 2017

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What would make me a better person?

If I could let things go instead of continually turning them over in my brain like a record with a scratch that keeps skipping back to play the same measures over and over. If I could just let some things be without picking at them because I’m not satisfied.

If I was kinder and more loving and giving. If I

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would put all others before me and be content to live humbly. If I had more patience and didn’t skip right to judgement. If I could learn to ask for help when I need it, instead of seeing it as personal failure. If I could walk in empathy with others, trying to understand their path in life.

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If I had the creativity to inspire others, especially hard others. If I stopped counting how much time it takes to do things with others, more so because I love to do things with others! If I could stop that niggling voice inside that tells me I have work I should be doing.

If I could capture who I am when I pray and hang onto that every moment.

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